dukies.com
You're Visitor # 4,628,479
DUKIES.COM POLL
Heading into the postseason, what's your take?
Duke is a serious Final Four contender
We just may have kept the Duke Foot Injury from ending our season for the third straight year
Miami is really backing into the tournament phase
So much for those little Tools and their VAUNTED twelve-guard lineup, at least until next Saturday
Still not going to miss Maryland, College Park at all
Just enjoying the ride
I have some gripe or other but will hold it for now
  Two Dukies
  Site News
  Duke Basketball
  National News
  Random Articles
  Devil in the Dark
  Dumb Advertising
  Mediocy
  Reviews
  Pop Culture
  Anti-Shillname Law
  Duke Women's B-Ball
  Dukies.com's Top 25
  Recaps
  2007 Archive
  2006 Archive
  2005 Archive
  2004 Archive
  1997-2003 Archive
  FAQ
TD: Heelin' in the Tears

Date: 3/6/2010

Two Dukies  
Posted By: Matt (preamble, comments, faking job offers), duhomme (comments, fascist action v. Presbyterian fan)



TWO DUKIES PICK THE ACC
Volume XIII, Episode 39
March 6, 2010
ON THE FRINGE OF A STEELY DAMN EDITION and
DO MISS, DEON EDITION

Matt’s comments in blue.
duhomme's comments in red.
Guest Dukie CDG's comments in violet. 


FLORIDA
STATE (21-8, 9-6) @ MIAMI (FLORIDA) (18-11, 4-11)


We lead with the conclusion of the Battle for America’s Dong - - don’t you get the feeling that Swofford feels that all of his pasta-fueled schedule atrocities are bettered by the fact that the Seminoles visit the Conversation Center in the season’s final weekend?  Look, since the close of business on January 9, the Tropical Depressions have won three games, all at home, versus VPI, GIT, and Virginia.  This same group, or at least 66.7% of it, coincidentally also provides a handy guide as to who should really not be part of the NCAA Tournament; Listless Len’s job is not to join that group, although see below about the possibility of a ridiculously funny four-way basement traffic jam at 5-11 if he does. 

Florida State 65, Miami (Florida) 62.
  

Sentence number one.  Sentence number two.  Sentence number three.

Florida State 81, Miami (Florida) 50.

The Sunshine State bowl - take two.  It’s a good thing these teams played... exactly 28 days ago or I would have to really go out on a limb here.  Although they are newbies to the Intergalactic Conference, I kind of have a soft spot for the Hurryclowns (which is totally irrational but whatever) and I think that despite their position in the standings, they can make this one close particularly since they are at home... but they won’t (wow that sentence pushed the limits!).

Florida State 67, Miami (Florida) 62.


#22 MARYLAND, COLLEGE PARK (22-7, 12-3) @ VIRGINIA (14-14, 5-10)

Turns out that if you riot and destroy property, it’s all just part of the student experience at Maryland, College Park, which helps explain why the campus regularly looks like it was just hit with a sustained barrage of photon torpedoes from orbiting Starfleet vessels.  Also part of the student experience?  Acting like a 6-6 douche and somehow convincing a bunch of Duke fans that you’re a great guy in the process.  That was one hell of a (bad) shot to seal the game, though, wasn’t it?  As we journey into our fifth sentence together, let me remind everyone that I will not stagger around in shock if UMCP actually drops this game, but luckily for Sweaty’s Squadron, it’s Virginia, Landesberg is still ailing, Zeglinski seriously looks like he’s done all of a sudden, and 6-9 rookie senior Meyinsse can’t carry all the water himself - - can he?  Bonus sixth sentence game for the comments section - - Virginia doesn’t play high-level attendance figure games like (say) NCCH, so let’s all try to guess the announced crowd total for this one.  JPJA’s basketball cap is 14,593.  I’ll go with 11,210.  If I win, I get nothing, but if someone posts a guess in the comments section and gets closer to the actual total than I do, and also gets closer than anyone else who participates, this winning individual gets to force me to do a five-sentence preview of any non-ACC, Division I men’s game he or she wants to see discussed this coming week of conference championships.  Come on - - I went ten sentences here, so let’s do this.          

Maryland, College Park 75, Virginia 58.  
  

I guess I owe GreeveAss some props for overcoming a less-than-effective first 35 minutes of play to make the big plays at the end, this on an evening when his faux hawk was retired by the university.  If Landesberg plays, maybe this is competitive.  (By the way, there are rumors that UMCP is bussing in thousands of students to break, burn and defile large portions of Charlottesville after they win this game.)

(Oh, I get bonus space for this one.  The local news is covering the aftermath of the post-Duke game riot in College Park and interviewed students.  One gave his name as “Rusty Shackleford.”  If you have ever watched the T.V. show “King of the Hill,” that is Dale Gribble’s alias. Maryland student messing with news crew = WIN!)

Maryland, College Park 73, Virginia 65.

You know, when Matt mentioned in the comments that he could see the Droplets “dropping” this one to the Whos, I have to admit that I had the very same thought (TM remains with Matt though).  There are a few reasons for this prediction: the possibility of a let-down after beating their “faux” rival; the fact it is Home Virginia; winning on the road this year has been rough; and, well, statistically the Cravs should lose this one which means they won’t.  But, alas, I lack the necessary cojones to do it... call it a “Grievous” hangover.  A fourth sentence to note that these two real rivals last met a little more than two weeks ago because the originally scheduled meeting – which should have happened 3 weeks ago – had to be postponed because of some inexplicable weather phenomenon (not perspiration created mind you), making this game another excellent example of the bending of the space-time continuum that occurs under Swofford.

Maryland, College Park 80, Virginia 70.


VIRGINIA TECH (22-7, 9-6) @ GEORGIA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY (19-10, 7-8)

New friend of the site Hard Candy mistook me for someone with access to more than two clues the other night, and graciously asked me why VPI should be excluded from the NCAAs.  The real answer of course lies in humanitarian considerations - - all Tournament participants could heave a huge sigh of relief that their lives would not be threatened by the personal injury law firm of Allen, Bell and Thompson LLP (Dorenzo Hudson, Esq., of counsel), the partners of which are just as likely to show up with a loaded weapon or a samurai sword (too bad each of these things has actually been done already, weakening this, ahem, stab at humor) as any kind of basketball effort.  Moreover, it’s fun to think of the Bald Bastard of Blacksburg once again (angrily) sitting on the sidelines, his sad strategy of feasting on an asburd array of baked goods out of conference having (irascibly) failed anew.  Fourth sentence to note, though, that Hard Candy had a point - - if VPI finishes fourth in the ACC, that’s probably enough for an NCAA bid.  Unfortunately.  Oh, it took me six sentences (hope you’re enjoying the extra material - - this is the last regular season edition this year, after all, so I splurged) to get to the consolation - - if Spewitt and the Thugs drop this one, why the hell should they be admitted to the NCAA Tournament with what would be seven losses in their final twelve games?  One of those five wins was over “Kentucky State,” too - - you’ll remember that was the modest school with a much better-looking website than the Institute’s.  Eighth and final sentence: GIT’s only quality wins this season were over Clemson and Duke, and they haven’t won a road game (yeah, I know this one’s in Atlanta - - I’m talking resume here) since January 16, at some huge crypt desecrating Tobacco Road.

Virginia Tech 79, Georgia Tech 78.   
    

So, two teams from engineering schools are in a basketball arena and … there should be a punch line there, but I can’t think of one.  Given the historic precipitation issues the Bugs face at home in You’re Fired !!!!! Arena and the Hokies’ recent experiment with the Cassell River (although it probably didn’t help that the school hadn’t properly removed the several acre-feet of water Matt and I tracked into the building last year), expect this one to look more like water polo than basketball.  On final interesting note: Nike has outfitted both teams with its newest, and increasingly necessary, basketball shoes.

Virginia Tech 75, Georgia Institute of Technology 70.

Tech vs. Tech - it sounds like a really bad family law case; the kind of case where both parties, without the ability to work constructively on their relationship, instead employ destructive techniques, goon each other up, and hope someone survives long enough to come out the winner -- a la “War of the Roses”.  I’m going to go with Tech in this one (ha-ha).  No seriously, the Institutional Insects are on a slide and while I think both Hewitt and the Bald Bastard are equally poor at the x’s and o’s, I have to pick Surly Seth’s Tech in this one even if it is at the Leak Dome and not in Blacksburg.

Virginia Tech 85, Georgia Institute of Technology 79.


NORTH CAROLINA-CHAPEL HILL (16-14, 5-10) @ #4 DUKE (25-5, 12-3)

Heelin’ in the Tears (D. Fagen, W. Becker, M. TwoDukies)

[guitar intro]
[piano, vocals enter]

Your everlasting hummer from the mediots couldn’t last
So you compare yourself to Haiti and sound just like some total ass
Well, you wouldn’t even know a timeout if you held five in your hand
The lack of girth from Henson might involve a gland

Are you Heelin’ in the tears?
 
Enjoyin’ Hess’s chimes?   (TWEET!)
Are you gathering up more Wears?
Are you already past your prime?

Are you Heelin' in the tears?
Ejectin' fans quick-time?
Didn't like those Deon cheers?
Is it your mental checkout time?

They’ve been telling me you were a genius just because you’d strut and preen
And in all the time I’ve loathed you I sure don’t know what they mean
That game at Charleston College didn’t turn out like you planned
Now that Bilas got some knowledge you’ve been roundly panned

Are you Heelin’ in the tears?
Weepin' at Ford’s crimes?
Are you sampling Green’s dad’s wares?
Are you a vulgar . . . little slime?

Are you Heelin' in the tears?
Coachin' like a Mime?
Are you detecting mutineers?
Who avoid you at all times?

[five-thumbed guitar interlude and solo by “Don’t Miss” Deon Thompson]

The Board thought you were money, you didn’t give a s**t at the time
That trip you made to Georgia Tech was some kick to your behind
After all the suits you’ve bought and cleaned - - Ed Davis has pro plans
Turns out you’re sort of useless without Ty and Hans
 

Are you Heelin’ in the tears?
Reverse of rapid climb?
 
Are you inventing Neeba c'reers?
Sounding like a nursery rhyme?

Are you Heelin’ in the tears?

Dadgummin' so sublime?
Are you soothing Ginyard’s fears?
Wishing Drew* good West Coast times?

[Outro repeat of interlude and guitar solo using only a high-desire little finger]
 
*[II]  

fade - - and do I mean fade

I hope you weren’t looking to me for statistical analysis on this one - - this is the same group that we beat in Chapel Hill, with Ol’ Zeller in there in place of Easy Ed, who cannot get this season over with quickly enough.  His deadeyed nonemotion on the bench is a riot.  No, no, UMCP student experiencers!!  Not that kind of . . . [loud clamor of student experience].  Sigh.  Anyway, no doubt you’re heard the rumors that Stick Figure is also considering a Neeba declaration, and Larry Drew LXVI is considering taking his roman numerals to the West Coast, unless he can convince his girlfriend, reputedly Eddie Murphy’s daughter, to join him in Chapel Hill.  Or he could talk to his belle’s pop about a concept that his legendary Saturday Night Live character Mr. Robinson popularized - - Ex-scape.  Hey, McCants is the one who called it a prison.
 

This is all just so sad.
 

But look, let’s be fair.  There has been a two-game renaissance of sorts that no doubt (I’m not about to check Inside Cryolina for verification) has Tool Nation thinking spoiler upset and some sort of perverse Cinderella run to the ACC title.  In the first of these two ridiculous contests, the heretofore unused, uncoached Leslie McDonald went off against Weak Florist and Al-Farouq Aminu resembled someone shaving points.  Goonio?  Don’t think he was even in the building, although I’ll check the tape, but under my working theory, I’m not sure that would be an actual problem.  In the second of these two contests, CSIs Mountain Dews and twelfth-year redshirt hardship transfer whiteshirt extraterrestrial medical exemption senior Dwayne Collins - - yeah, the same dudes who looked Hall of Fame against us - -  combined to rain down five points in 43 minutes.  Durand Scott made the plane, which was a good thing inasmuch as he scored 46.8% of Miami’s 62 points.  The Tools naturally popped 17 boners, and outrebounded the CandyCanes 51-27, yes, 51-27, and still only won by seven.  And don’t worry - - the horrible Hurryclowns STILL cut a yawning eighteen-point gap to one with just over three minutes to play.  Heh.
  

Doesn’t look like that much of a renaissance, coming against, in reverse order, a “coach” who should be fired at the end of the season and a “coach” who should only be a year behind that pace.
 

Jon Scheyer has never won in Cameron against the North Carolina-Chapel Hill Tar Heels.  And while I might have to check on Jordan Davidson, that’s going to mean that no one on the roster has ever beaten the Tools in Cameron.  This is inexcusable.  This must stop.  It’s senior night for Scheyer, Zoubek, and Lance Thomas.  Man up, play that wing defense, do not let Graves alone on the perimeter, deny easy baskets, force turnovers (Duke had no fast break points against Maryland), and that should about do it.  I didn’t mind losing to a hot team in their building in a game that was actually a five-pointer and wasn’t won until the 1:38 mark.  HOWEVER, THERE IS NO REASON NOT TO WIN THIS GAME, MIKE KRZYZEWSKI AND PLAYERS.  NONE.  COME ON, GUYS!!!!!
 

By the way, how awesome was it to see Andre Dawkins hit those two threes?  Two more tonight, Andre?  Let's go, Devils. 

Thanks to everyone for reading this regular season.
 

Duke 82, North Carolina-Chapel Hill 70.
    

 


MEMORANDUM


TO:                  Anna Torv, Joshua Jackson, John Noble, Lance Reddick, Jasika Nicole
FROM:            J.J. Abrams
RE:                  Schedule update

Hey, I hate to do this to again, but the network has ordered up another special episode of “Fringe” in advance of our return date in April. Like last time, I have attached a copy of the script. Our last episode in this series was really, really successful, and I’d like to see the same effort from everyone again.

DEEP VOICED ANNOUNCER: “Last time on Fringe …”

AGENT BROYLES: “There’s … beenadisturbance  … at  the University … ofNorthCarolina.”

AGENT DUNHAM: “Which one? They have multiple campuses.”

AGENT BROYLES: “VeryperceptiveDunham. The one in ChapelHill. Accoorrrrrrrding to our consultantsatESPN, the basketball teeeeeam there … isnotperformingasexpected. Ourexpertsin Bristol … pre-dic-ted they would goundefeated and repeat … asnationalchampions, winning eeeeeach game … byanaverageof … seventy points. Instead … theyarethirteenandten … with only twoooo winnnnns … intheACC. And … theyaregettingblownoutalot.”

[Cut to the shot of Agent Dunham, Peter Bishop and Dr. Bishop walking down Franklin Street.]

AGENT DUNHAM: “We’re going to see the person responsible for assembling this disaster. He has several national titles to his credit, and is highly regarded by the local media. But, apparently, no one noticed that his real strength is in recruiting, rather than developing players or game plans. Until recently, he could rely on his teams outscoring the opposition, but that hasn’t worked out this year. His name is Roy Williams.”

DR. BISHOP: “Ooohh, my. I KNOW this man. He was fellow PATient while I was in the St. Claire’s mental HOSpital. He’s crazier than I am.”

[Cut to scene in Roy Williams’ office.]

ROY WILLIAMS: “WE CAN’T GET ANY LOWER!!! I’VE DONE EVERYTHING I CAN!!! IT’S UP TO THE PLAYERS!!! NOT MY FAULT, GOSH DARNIT!!! THEY SUCK!!! SO DO THE FANS!!!! I HATE MEDIA DAY AND THE ACC TOURNAMENT!!!! WE HAD TO GO TO MARYLAND DURING A SNOW STORM!!! THE ONLY FOOD WAS LEFTOVERS FROM A FREAKING WEDDING RECEPTION!!!! WE F***ING STINK!!!! AND I’M SICK OF THE STUPID PRINGLES AD SONG WE PLAY BEFORE EVERY HOME GAME!!!! DAGGUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

[Dub in audio of the Howard Dean scream.]


DR. BISHOP: “It’s WORse than I THOUGHT. AGENT DUNHAM! I MUST have this team sent to my lab iMMEdiately.”

[Cut to the lab at Harvard.]

DR. BISHOP: “I can’t expLAIN it. With a team alrEAdy populated with centers and forwards, WILLiams brought in a reCRUITing class of unproven STIFFS. Who have contributed little or nothing this year. That is TRUly disturbing. I simply MUST do an experiment! The NIT tournament is coming up and I need to determine if they will get IN!”

[Transition to the new episode.]

[Scene I: Agent Broyles is standing in his office talking on his cell phone using a voice so badass that it makes small children cry and staring so intensely at the wall that the paint surely must be bubbling. He is wearing a suit of such high quality that Donald Trump would admire it. In the background, workers are unpacking an alligator-skin desk, with a matching chair, and hanging a Tiffany chandelier from the ceiling.]

AGENT BROYLES: “AgentDunham. What … isthestatus … of yooooouuuurrrinvestigation.”

[Agent Dunham is standing in Dr. Bishop’s lab, wearing the world’s dullest pantsuit. In the background, Dr. Bishop is mumbling incessantly and bobbing his head like a chicken. Agent Farnsworth is standing around doing nothing, leaving viewers to wonder why this character is on the show.]

AGENT DUNHAM: “Walter was trying to run an experiment. He scanned Roy Williams' little finger to measure the amount of desire he had in it with the intent of comparing it to the amount in the fans at the Smith Center. Unfortunately, so few of them show up to games there now, we can’t get a sample that is statistically significant.”

AGENT BROYLES: “That’sunfortunate. Have you heard … from the rogue agent duhomme?”

AGENT DUNHAM: “I got a strange email from him. I’ll read it to you.

‘Well, as much as we have enjoyed watching Duke beat the Twerps for a couple of years now, I guess we couldn’t expect it to last forever, especially on Senior Day for the best player Merryland has had in years and against what is clearly the best team in the ACC other than the Blue Devils. By a mile. Now, I’m not one to dwell on the whole they-played-hard-but-thing-just-didn’t-go-their-way-at-the-end-but-that’s-life thing. However, I am one to dwell on …

WIN OF THE GAME: Certainly you hand this to the notion that in the last three or four years, Duke would have gotten blown out of the building after spotting the opposition a serious double-digit lead in a road game. But, I like to look to the future and would like to give a laurel and hearty handshake to Andre Dawkins, who was inserted in the game during several crucial times and was willing to take shots, including one to give Duke a one-point advantage under the seven minute mark. This in what was the most hostile environment he’s ever played in. Welcome back, dude.

FAIL OF THE GAME: The Duke front-court D standing around and watching Jordan Williams pick up the first Bootsy of his Maryland career with 15 points and 11 rebounds, while failing to respond when on offense. Those 15 points? More than 13 scored by Treebeard, Thomas and both Plumlees COMBINED! The 11 boards? More than the seven pulled down by that same group, save Treebeard, who turned in another studly effort with 13 on his own. That would be 37 percent of Duke’s total.’

AGENT BROYLES: “That … istrulydisturbing.”

AGENT DUNHAM: “Well, he’s never been terribly stable, and his ability to correctly predict the outcome of basketball games is seriously declining. With the ACC tournament coming up next week, I fear his condition will only get worse.”

AGENT BROYLES: “Maybe he should starting writing for the webpage ‘Two Natties Pick National League Baseball.’ Thatshouldbeeasy … as that team is dreeeadful … andalmostalwaysloses.”

AGENT DUNHAM: “At this point, I just don’t know.”

AGENT BROYLES: “Atanyrate … you neeeeeeeeeed to get to the bottom … ofthisinvestigation. Sooooon you will head … toCollegeParkMaryland. Your mission … istodetermine … why the basketball team there … has uniforms that make them. Look Like. A. Ronald. McDonald. Look-alike. Contest. Also, trytounderstand … whythestudents … destrooooyyyy theirtown … whenevertheywinagame by seven points … againstateam only one spot above them in the conference rankings.”

[Switch to closeup of Dr. Bishop, who suddenly stops mumbling and gets a “eureka!” look on his face. Begins to speak in a voice with unusual inflections and a sound that has been earned from decades of smoking unfiltered Lucky Strikes.]

DR. BISHOP: “I THink I’ve GOT it!”

PETER BISHOP: “What is it, Walter?”

DR. BISHOP: “But FIRst, get me a LOLLYpop. A CHERry one.”

[Peter Bishop, who seems to have even less to do with cracking cases than Agent Farnsworth, and is only around to babysit his father, sighs, rolls his eyes and leaves to get the treat.]

DR. BISHOP: “When William Bell and I were working for the GOVernment, befooorrre I was sent to the mental instiTUtion, we deVELoped a SERum that would render a NORmally competitive basketball team comPLETEly worthless in the A-C-C. To the point they would miss out enTIREly on POst-season PLay. It was suPPOSed to have been destroyed yeeeeaarrrs ago. But it appears SOMEone kept a SAMple.”

AGENT DUNHAM: “Has it ever been used before?”

DR. BISHOP: “Only once. At Duke. In the 1994 to 1995 season. But we COULDN’T use any of the DAta. In THAT situation, the head COACH took a leave of absence to recover from BACK SURgery. The Tar Heels are still being led by their Hall of Fame one. We were GOIng to ATTEMPT it again in Chapel Hill during the 2002 to 2003 season, but their undead coach was doing a WORSE job than the SERUM was supposed to CREATE. ”

AGENT DUNHAM: “Is it possible the serum is losing its effect? After all, the Hoots, as some like to call them, just won two games in a row.”

DR. BISHOP: “Pleeeeeezzze. The three of us in this ROOM could beat MiAmi and Wake FORest.”

AGENT DUNHAM: “Is there anything you can do? Any antidote?”

DR. BISHOP: [Shaking his head sadly.] “I’m afraid not. This team will play tonight, be beaten badly, and then play ONE, maybe TWO games next weekend before going away until next November. I’m more concerned about Roy WILLiams. The Sanity-Meter attached to his brain is showing WAY too many readings in the QT interval. OH MY!”

ROY WILLIAMS: “YAAAAAHHHHAAAWWWAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAGGUM FANS!!! LITTLE FINGER!!!!!! GINYARD???!!!! SHOOTING GUARD????!!!! HOW????!!!! PRACTICE NUMBER FIFTY-THREE SON!!!!! GOLF!!!! SHOULDER!!!!! POWDER BLUE SLING!!!! DESIGNED BY JULIAN!!!!!! WHERE’S MY SNUFF!!!! WORSE THAN BEING HOMELESS AND STARVING IN HAITI!!!!!!! CHAIR!!!!!!”

[Roy Williams passes out. The Sanity-Meter redlines. Fade to black and begin closing credits.]

Duke 80, North Carolina-Chapel Hill 70.

Here it is, folks.  The main event.  The chance for Duke to gain retribution for senior nights past... to put an exclamation point on a fairly strong season... plus seal the #1 seed for the ACC Tourney.

But first, I would be remiss if I did not provide a wee little recap for a wee little game that took place on Wednesday, one that I happened to watch on a wee little computer screen, in fact.

After venting quickly and sleeping on the loss a bit, I ultimately came to the conclusion that with the exception of the last 3 minutes where Duke made a few poor shot choices (why, 3’s, why?), had their higher percentage buckets rim out, and had Garyland play the end-game of its life, it was ultimately a well executed game in a very, very hostile environment.  Had they actually played the first 15 minutes to the pace/skill they played the next 22, and made those free throws, I think the game may have been out of Mary-land’s reach.  But, alas, my time-machine is broken so we’re stuck with the L.

I am going to steal liberally from duhomme here again and name my FAIL(s) and WIN(s) of the game.  Frankly, most of these were mentioned in the far more insightful comments of other dear readers, but just for emphasis...

FAILS: zebras calling travels where there were none; bad 3’s in the last three minutes; having to endure the Duke of Dewy Beach berate his bench over and over for what happens on the court; and the relative lack of production from our bench compared with the Twerps’ (although on this point I think I have to give up the ghost because at least more guys are seeing the floor now than at the start of the season).

WINS: hard-core toughness to come back from double digits down in the first; great rebounding by Zoob despite the fingers (and trying for the shot even if it wasn’t falling); and the three S’s putting the ball on the floor and going to the net when the jump shots weren’t falling.  Did I mention the toughness?  Seriously, a year ago, this team would have folded during the last 12 minutes... even a few months ago, I think.  I am not saying we have a Championship team here, (a girl can dream though, right?), but man, have they come far.

Overall, not as bad a loss as I first felt.  But please, let’s retire the dribble three’s.  Please.... please?

Okay, suivant/next.

In any other year I might have hedged my bets and said Duke could lose this one for a variety of reasons.  Not this year.  Is it completely out of the realm of possibility?  No, but I just do not see it happening.  Duke has been man-handled by these powder blue fairies for too many years and had too many a senior night ruined by them to let a sub-par Tools win this one.  Add to that the fact that the game is in Cameron and that I am relatively sure that they are pissed they lost to their “faux” rival on Wednesday.  This has all the hallmarks of a statement win in my opinion.

How do we do it?  Well, I think the keys to the win are pretty obvious (and were likely covered in much more detail by my colleagues): (1) strong defense that forces the Dirty Footmen to give up many a possession, including a liberal use of the press; (2) putting the ball on the floor to force the veeeeery slooooooow Twinks to have to foul or allow easy baskets; (3) making those necessary free-throws; and (4) making intelligent use of the distance shot if the Holes decide to throw in a zone.

What we need to avoid is playing to their level which is kind of what happened at the Mausoleum for the first 12 minutes last time.  Gentlemen, we are not the Tools.  We are not coached by Rhoid.  Our uniforms are not a color that evokes thoughts of crying babies and throw-up.  It’s like those strange optical illusion posters that were huge in the 90’s: ignore the nonsense in front of you and you’ll get the real picture.  Same goes here: ignore the baby blue histrionics and all will be fine.

Forgive me if I am covering ground that has already been well travelled, but while I was just writing the above paragraph, some long-forgotten synapse fired.  Now, I took a psychology course waaaaay back in the day, so I have no idea why using the word “histrionics” said something to me, but it did.  I only wish these same synapses would fire for me when I am actually working. 

I wonder if associated features of histrionics could include: egocentrism (surely not like overexaggerating one's own woes to a ridiculous extent); self-indulgence (which probably wouldn't involve talking about oneself in the third person); continuous longing for appreciation (oh where do I even begin?!); feelings that are easily hurt (waterworks on a frequent basis???); and persistent manipulative behavior to achieve one’s own needs (which certainly wouldn't involve not giving a sh%t).  Issues?  Well, just an opinion, but if so, they last way longer than four hours.

Alright, I have wasted enough of your time.

Let’s put a positive bookend to the regular season and start setting ourselves up for the Tourney.

GO DUKE! (GTHC)

Duke 81, University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill 64.


BOSTON
COLLEGE (15-14, 6-9) @ NORTH CAROLINA STATE (16-14, 4-11)


BeeCee did indeed close its home schedule with a win over Virginia, which appeared by telephone nurturing just 55 points even though Landesberg did actually return.  So the Beagles went 5-3 at home and enter this one having beaten only CSI: Miami in seven forays involving room service and free soap and shampoo.  Meanwhile, RESURGENT FUTURE LEAGUE POWER N.C. STATE (spare me) snapped its string of two straight victories with a carefree loss in Blacksburg.  Fourth sentence to note that Redjac’s (you come from Rigel IV, don’t you, Mr. Hengist?) probable win here could create a thoroughly hilarious four-team train wreck of a tie in the cellar with all participants at 5-11; we just need to root for the Hurryclowns to beat FSU and Duke to defeat whomever they’re playing. 

North Carolina State 72, Boston College 68.     
    

I told my children if they didn’t behave this week, they will have to watch this game.  Sure enough, homework is done early, bedrooms are spotless, they detailed my car, mowed the lawn even though it is winter, prepared my tax returns, combined all the lawsuits against me into one class action suit (rip-off of a Simpsons joke, the follow-up line is :“Wow, that’ll save all kinds of time”), offered to get me that pony I’ve always wanted, wrote my material for this edition, replaced the shingles on the roof and made dinner, which was a beef roulade with a spinach, feta cheese and roasted pine nuts filling (plus, they figured out they should use some bread crumbs as a binder).  I’m going to go with the home team, although a loss here might be more evidence the N.C. State administration needs to can Lid Slow and hire a REAL coach, thus making the conference that much more interesting to watch and write about.

North Carolina
State 50, Boston College 40.

No, no, no, no, no -- I refuse to oblige until both schools get new coaches.  Not going to happen you say? Neither will this pick.

Boston College 1, North Carolina State (-1). (wouldn’t that be great???)


CLEMSON (21-8, 9-6) @ WAKE FOREST (18-9, 8-7)

Wake finishes up another sterling ACC campaign with a home game against the Tiggers that WFU, if it knows what’s good for it, had better win if it is not planning on hosting NIT games in the near future - - sorry, but except for Duke, Maryland, and Clemson, I just don’t buy the notion of any Galactic Coast team as a lock for the Dance right now.  Naturally, the “power six” bias - - a concept and moniker the retirement of which I would like to see immediately - - militates in favor, according to Goonardi and other impeccably-credentialed bracket predictors, of seven ACC teams in the NCAAs, but what’s the real support for this?  Five teams is probably the right answer; that’s my three locks plus Florida State and either this homestanding unit, the BugThugs, or VPI.  Fourth sentence to note that Ollie did a really nice job pulling Clemson out of its ironclad-scheduled January-February swoon; since February 6, the Poohs have lost only at UMCP in six contests.  Fifth sentence in case you’re wondering when these two teams last played.  Sixth sentence just to thank you for asking!  Seventh sentence to inform you that it was March 8, 2009, when Wake beat Clemson at home in the regular season’s final game for both teams, and the Deeks jumped over Duke for the #2 seed in the ACC-T in the process (which didn’t help them).  Eighth sentence for the usual grateful smile to the strapping Swofford for squeezing this one in just before the buzzer - - thanks, your eminence.  Ninth sentence to note that I will be heavily rooting for Clemson to send Goonio to the showers with a .500 record and a nervous Selection Sunday, assuming the typical Weak flameout at the ACC-T, but I can’t pick it, with apologies and regret. 

Wake Forest 78, Clemson 73.       

The Dopes haven’t won a game since the middle of last month, a stretch that includes (insert link to audio file of Robert De Niro laughing in the movie theater in the early part of “Cape Fear.” On second hand, save some time by not trying to find one.  And, wonder, since this parenthetical material is technically inside the first sentence, shouldn’t all this still count as one?) losses to both the ACC teams with the word “North” in their names.  In that same period of time, Clemson has one loss, to Merryland in College Park, which is completely inexcusable totally understandable.  I’m going to use up the rest of my allotment to echo Matt’s comments yesterday to tell ClemsonGuest: PLEASE chime in as much as you want, you’ve been missed and despite my time around the program when my cousin played on the women’s team, you are quite the informed and impartial expert when it comes to all things Clemson.

Clemson 71, Wake Forest 68.

While researching this particular match-up, I found a very interesting stat: the basketball masterminds at William & Mary beat 100% of the ACC teams it played this year, including one Weak Florist, something that I thought I would throw out there just so that I could prove that (a) I am actually able to read, and (b) I don’t in fact phone in all my picks (yeah right).  Swofford should take note since their stats, when extrapolated to the unending ACC season, would make them mythical regular season champions and shoe-ins for the ACC Tourney Championship -- except in years when the Tools are winning that is.  This one is a tough one since these two teams, despite having played a home-and-home series for years prior to expansion, actually HAVEN’T PLAYED YET THIS YEAR!!!!  Breaking the rule again to note that I think the winner will be whoever doesn’t pass-out with all the tie-dye and bright orange in the stands.

Wake Forest 65, Clemson 64.  


Last Edition:
Matt 5-1
duhomme 5-1
Guests 0-0

Season:
Matt 70-33
duhomme 68-35
Guests 2-1


 

View more articles from this category

 

Posted by: The Short Fuse Date: 3/11/2010 2:59:18 AM  
Matt, I apologize for the delay in posting but better late than never, right? :)

All three of you did a fabulous job! I enjoyed every last word.

Matt, I may be biased, but you are too funny! I believe that was your best song parody yet. Thanks for a great preview, guys. Go Duke!



Posted by: Matt Date: 3/10/2010 9:28:11 AM  
Andrew - -

Good choice! I will gladly write about the SEC and then people who actually know something about that conference - - like Dave Clark - - can add their insights.

Let's see - - of the two teams you mentioned, Tennessee is playing against LSU on Thursday; I would rather write about Vanderbilt, "hosting" either Arkansas or Georgia, on Friday. So I'll add that to the Two Dukies Friday material as your well-earned prize.



Posted by: Serious G Date: 3/8/2010 5:34:17 PM  
russ - great point about Henson, I could not believe he did that. What an asshat.

Go Devils!



Posted by: ClemsonGuest Date: 3/8/2010 4:04:57 PM  
Note to self: Only read Two Dukies' song parodies at work IF you're prepared to give long explanations to coworkers why you're laughing so hard.


Posted by: T. Randall Taylor Date: 3/8/2010 2:03:31 PM  
Wiseacre? WISEACRE? Knock this chip off my shoulder, Sparky. Go on, I double dog dare ya!

The nominees for the dumb commentator remarks are :

Erin Andrews : It was almost like I knew what I was talking about.

Dick Vitale : Duke is bigger, sizewise, than they have been in many a year.

Dan Shulman : No one wearing a Duke uniform here tonight has ever beaten Carolina.

And the winner is!

Digger Phelps : Duke has a lot of confidence coming off that win at Maryland.


Here's something of interest. No Holes on the All Acc team for the first time ever.

http://blogs.newsobserver.com/accnow/scheyer-singler-make-all-acc-team-unc-shut-out



Posted by: bluedevilruss Date: 3/8/2010 12:51:31 PM  
Too late to comment? ha!

I actually didn't have to hear the song to sing along, Matt, I could do it in my head, and wow, phenomenal job!

Can't wait for Fringe to come back even more now duhomme. I assume from your writeup that you like Broyles. He's my second favorite only to Walter. I could listen to his voice all day.

I just chuckled the whole time during the game. Laugh riot. Some favorite moments:

Henson dunking and then getting in (insert forgotten Duke big man's name here?) face after cutting the lead to....28....in the second half. baaaaaahahaha

The "Text 90999 to donate $10 to the UNC Basketball Disaster Fund" sign held up by one of the Crazies (all of them almost equally hilarious, check out DBP for the rest of them)

Nolan Smith blowing by Drew2 while he apparently daydreamed about the West Coast.

Shots of Ed Davis daydreaming about laying in stacks of cash next year after shaking David Sterns hand.

Last but def not least: each of the hugs between Coach K and the Seniors, both before and after the game. Got a little misty with Jon and Big Z, just thinking about how their first season went...and how much better they are now.

We're not done. Championships await...HERE..COMES...DUKE!



Posted by: CDG Date: 3/8/2010 11:40:24 AM  
Still feeling good about the win today. My dad - who is a football guy - caught some of the highlights on Sportscenter yesterday and was just floored with our play. I always like hearing that from someone who isn't as invested a fan.

SFSF, I am not sure where you got the "signature" from in my material. I mentioned that I thought that Saturday had all the foreshadowing of a "statement" win. Not a huge issue but after I read the comments I thought I would just clear that up since you aksed in your first comment below.

In the end, I would say it was definitinely a "statement" or "signature Duke win, however you want to call it.



Posted by: Andrew Hicks Date: 3/7/2010 11:59:04 PM  
So my wild-eyed guess on attendance was close! Unbelievable.

*** looks at the schedules ***
Uh.... the games I would really have liked have already been played. Aside from Duke, two teams I follow are ETSU and Northern Iowa, and I am very happy to see that both of them have found their way to the Dance. I just hope neither of them gets matched up with Duke -- especially UNI, because I think they might be a "Cinderella" this year.

How about an SEC game of your choice, so long as it doesn't involve Kentucky? Maybe something involving Vanderbilt or Tennessee? Both strike me as teams that might make some noise.

Or if you'd prefer, maybe preview ETSU or UNI as part of the field, without any specific opponent, if that makes sense.

*** remembers the time that ETSU as a sixteen seed, came one basket shy of knocking off #1 seed Oklahoma. Golly, I miss Mister Jennings!!! What a player!!! ***

As for the Game, I am still celebrating. What a night!!!!!!



Posted by: SanFranSoxFan Date: 3/7/2010 12:14:04 PM  
Awesome preview to all three of you! Thanks for making a signature game special.

Congrats Andrew! Leave it to a numbers guy to nail it. Can't wait to see which game you pick.

Matt, how do you manage to improve on a classic? While I was able to make the adjustments and happily sing along to "Heelin' in the Tears" several times last night (thanks, duhomme), with today's revisions I'll never hear the original again w/o singing this version.

And if there is a Hall of Fame for most ironic lines in a song (i.e., "You've got to admit it's getting better, getting better all the time [can't get no worse!]"), then "That game at Charleston College didn’t turn out like you planned" is IN on the first ballot. Seriously, I can't get past that line w/o losing it.

This preview link has been sent to the "list" and I eagerly await feedback from friends, family and foes.



Posted by: tom Date: 3/7/2010 10:55:29 AM  
Way to go seniors! Great game. Dad was in bed before halftime. Cursing the whole way.


Posted by: David MacMillan Date: 3/7/2010 9:20:37 AM  
Just a dreamlike beatdown. I've been a Duke fan since 1977 and I've never seen such annihilation of the Holes before. Was relieved to realize this morning that there was no contract lying around regarding the sale of my soul.

Roy's true colors have been exposed this year even to his apologists, and I have to think that this season will have a lingering effect on their program.

What a great night for all Dukies, especially the seniors.

Great job on the song, Matt!

BTW, Mark Bradley of AJC wrote a column about Hewitt's contract the other day... he will not be fired this year.



Posted by: Matt Date: 3/7/2010 8:01:00 AM  
The actual attendance - - or should I say the announced attendance - - at JPJA on Saturday was 13,431. (Wow!)

Andrew Hicks wins, only off by an astonishingly minuscule total of 430 dorks. Nice job, Andrew! Thanks to those that participated, even that wiseacre TRT.

Andrew, let me know what game you want previewed. Anything non-ACC this coming week, from Monday through Sunday. Don't worry about me - - pick whatever you want. Damn fine job.



Posted by: Matt Date: 3/7/2010 7:53:59 AM  
duhomme, you're way too nice. Thank you. I'm still amazed by the Fringe parody, particularly the transcriptions of the vocalizations. Just hilarious.

Yeah, how did I forget to put the link to the actual song in there? Thank you. I inserted it now, to the intro, under the text "piano, vocals enter." And for anyone who enjoyed "Heelin' in the Tears," I also managed to forget that the chorus should repeat after each verse. Derr. That has now been fixed with some supplementations, as well as a couple of other tweaks to the lyrics that track more closely with the original, in case you want to reread and/or sing along as duhomme suggested. I'm glad people liked it.



Posted by: Matt Date: 3/7/2010 7:37:42 AM  
Dave Clark!! Welcome back - - it's always awesome to see you commenting. Great comparison between UNC-CH and the Dawgs. Hmm. And yes - - Spewitt was so bad this season that he should be the Anticoach of the Year, and he should be fired. But I bet he gets another season, esepcially if Favors and Lawal don't jump and all they lose is Zach the Hatch and D'Andre Bell. Also, I thought of you last week when Al White and I were watching Duke @ Virginia. We were talking SEC basketball, about which you're a pretty solid expert in my book, and we concluded that the league suffers from a total lack of marquee coaches. You can; I can because I'm just That Guy, but how many serious fans of the game could name more of them than Billy Munster, Calipari and Pearl? Stallings maybe. This could be a good bar bet.

Doh's Magical Mystery Tour - - I love it. Yeah, that team was actually competitive in some of its games, moving it closer to resembling the Gaudet Protectorate than this year's Chapel Hill self-parody.

I'm with you - - I think next season will be all about Harry Barnes racking up as many stats as he can to impress the NBA, then he'll be gone, much like J.J. Hickson. Thompson and Davis were supposed to be the saviors this year . . . so next year it's Zeller and Henson? Marshall is not going to be the answer in the backcourt, and no one on the entire team will be able to guard anyone with Ginyard finally given the hook. Not so sure I foresee an instant bounceback. Good to talk to you, man.



Posted by: Dave Clark Date: 3/7/2010 2:50:45 AM  
Actually, let me correct myself w/r/t "worst coaching jobs I've ever seen": Paul Hewitt, come on down and take the prize. I should note that one of the hacks in the local rag here in Atlanta had hyped this Tech outfit as a regional-final contender. Hehindeedy!


Posted by: Dave Clark Date: 3/7/2010 2:43:30 AM  
Greetings, all. I've been a chump the entire season, seeing how I've read all entries but never posted. I don't have much to say, but per last entry, the crew here needs the love, so I'll just add this:

I'm a Georgia graduate. I'm a Georgia basketball fan, which is a ridiculous concept, yes, but follow me here:

North Carolina, record-wise and RPI-wise, is pretty much comparable to us. In basketball. With THAT talent. Absurd. I don't normally like to deal in such absolutes, but Roy's fumbling of this UNC team might be one of the worst coaching jobs I've ever seen. Yeah, yeah, inexperience in the frontcourt, injuries here and there. But Doherty's Magical Mystery Tour '02 gave Duke a better fight than Roy's assemblage of McDonald's AAs tonight. The general idea is that, oh, Carolina'll just snare another great class and things will heal themselves...but really? So sure? That easy? I dunno, really.



Posted by: SanFranSoxFan Date: 3/7/2010 2:04:36 AM  
Please be tolerant as I reply to... myself:
"...No need for EP figures tonight, or Trip-S and non-Trip-S stats. Let's hope the seniors do their thing, but more of it (15+ boards, Treebeard; 5+ of them Off?). Let's hope the other guys feed off them and it becomes a one-sided, joyous celebration of all abilities Duke..."
Well, wishes fulfilled. Zoubs snagged 13, 5 of them offensive. Scheyer with 20 (above his average) and an ATO of infinity (!!) with 7 A's, no TO's, and Thomas playing shut-down, intimidating defense (in his 16 minutes) set the tone and the others responded. Singler was Singler+, Nolan has established himself as the Scheyer of next season, the Plums were inspired, and everyone who hit the court did something great. And, to add to Josh's highlight reel, we have... Master Andre Dawkins (5 pts in 11 min w/2 steals), who not only canned a pretty 3, but then took on, count 'em, 5 UNC-CH "players" in a shake-n-bake drive from way out, spinning around one, cross-dribbling another, and then slashing by the other three (one of whom I believe was the original fakee) for an unmolested lay-up with bodies flailing all around him. Going to be a berry berry good year, next year, even though Scheyer believes he has still not experienced his Duke career highlight - yet (smiles).


Posted by: Serious G Date: 3/7/2010 1:08:00 AM  
Hope y'all enjoyed the game!


Posted by: Serious G Date: 3/7/2010 1:07:05 AM  
Great game, big 3 were awesome, crazies were great!

Seniors left CIS in style!

Kyrie (mister mister) Irving is gonna torch these guys next year for sure!

GTHC!



Posted by: duhomme Date: 3/6/2010 11:42:47 PM  
hey, everybody, thanks for coming by and having things to say today. i would have been here sooner, but was out all day on a family related event and got home just in time for the game.

first: i didn't just enjoy this game, i laughed early and often.

second: cdg - great material. we always enjoy your participation. at the risk of going outside of the scope of my contract, please do it again sometime this season.

third: i could have emailed this to matt, but wanted to say this in a place where everyone could see it. that was, hands down, the funniest song parodies ever on this site. if you want to have extra fun, do to this link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bwHK1xkgJA

and sing along. i've done it twice tonight already.



Posted by: Fats "Lazer" Durston Date: 3/6/2010 11:21:16 PM  
Dick Vitale actually said the only funny thing I heard him say all year: "We're talking about the NIT bubble?!"


Posted by: Josh Date: 3/6/2010 11:07:35 PM  
This was every single kind of awesome imaginable. Loved Nolan's ridiculous hesitation blow-by for the slam. Loved the monster alley-oop to Plumlee 1.0 at the end. Loved Singler torching the nets. Loved Davidson getting a steal on Senior Night. Loved Scheyer being Scheyer. Loved watching the Tools play abominable basketball (when even Vitale calls you out on your effort, you know you suck). Pretty much a perfect night all around. Bring on the ACC Tournament!


Posted by: CDG Date: 3/6/2010 10:59:20 PM  
Oh so good. Thank you seniors. Let's savour and get ready...


Posted by: CDG Date: 3/6/2010 10:44:54 PM  
Sorry Al - iPhone spelling error: "good" not "goof".

Still more than 7 to go but I am loving the energy and effort from our boys.

Can we please hear about what is in fact happening on the court Dick? Jeez... sometimes I think I am lucky I dont get all the games so I avoid hearing this garbage.

Re NIT for UNC.... Wonder whether Ol' Roy will actually accept if they get an invite?



Posted by: El Guapito Date: 3/6/2010 10:35:24 PM  
Nothin (Note the Palin influence) could be finer than tuning up Carolina in the evening!


Posted by: Josh Date: 3/6/2010 10:14:29 PM  
"Graves - he's the best shooter..."....as he misses the hoop by a good 4 feet. I hate teenybopper texting shorthand, but I really am LOLing at the Tools right now. Show no mercy!


Posted by: Josh Date: 3/6/2010 9:51:09 PM  
I was gone all afternoon (high school basketball playoffs time again), so I didn't see this until now. Is it too late to get my attendance pick in? I have not seen any info on the game (promise), so I'll say 11, 392. If it's too late, I understand.

Great material again, guys. I'm watching the first half on DVR and am about 25 minutes behind, but I am ROFLMAO (note: I am not actually doing any of those things) at the Tools' offense through the first 8 minutes. Yee-ow.



Posted by: CDG Date: 3/6/2010 9:11:07 PM  
Al White! Welcome back! Goof to hear from you.

Just a quick statement: all 3 S's start with threes - insane!!!



Posted by: Al White Date: 3/6/2010 6:05:18 PM  
Did Matt's threat to drop the site fire up the crowd or what? It was the blog equivalent of a home coach getting an outrageous T and then pulling the starters for five walk-ons.

Great previews by all today! "Heelin' in the Tears" does the nearly impossible and rivals last year's "Hotel Carolina" for best Tool song parody ever (if memory serves -- "Lawson's tires are squealing, Green's Dad's on ice, We are just prisoners here of our own device ...").

It is really interesting how Coach Foulmouth failed to recognize that he might need a backcourt to compete this year. When is that ever important in college basketball?

Great memory, Andrew, of the 1972 game. Coach Schnozz felt so betrayed by the one-and-done from Buffalo Bob (as he was later known) that the Tool-in-Chief refrained from hiring any more jucos. The sacrifices the man made for the integrity of the Chapel Hill branch!

The loss to the insanely hot Twerps can be discounted for all the reasons mentioned, but the Devils are probably not playing at the level needed to get past the third round in the Big Dance (given the ridiculous matchup we always seem to get in that game). To make it to the Elite Eight, the front line is going to have to be solid in the Sweet 16 and each of the three S's is going to have to avoid the type of clankfest that one or more has been laying down lately.

It is interesting to compare this team to the 2004 squad. That team had all the pieces, even though three of them were in inexperienced form (JJ, Shelden and Deng). Nobody on this year's team has the talent level of Deng, who put his team on his back and got them past Xavier. I don't think that type of player is necessary to get to the Final Four, but it really helps to have that guy when the other key players are struggling.

This will be a great game for Jon, Kyle and Nolan to show that collectively they have what it takes to play in April.



Posted by: T. Randall Taylor Date: 3/6/2010 5:33:20 PM  
And speaking of commentators, I just want to say that, for example, when the score is 45 - 50 that is not a five point differential. It's a difference. Please make a note of this. Thank you.



Posted by: SanFranSoxFan Date: 3/6/2010 3:45:33 PM  
Great story, Andrew. Matt, I've been waiting all season for "Heelin' in the Tears" and you did not disappoint. And kudo's to the lads from UNC-CH and their peerless leader for providing such incredible material for you to shape into this classic. Previous years' material just wouldn't have provided such pure joy.

No need for EP figures tonight, or Trip-S and non-Trip-S stats. Let's hope the seniors do their thing, but more of it (15+ boards, Treebeard; 5+ of them Off?). Let's hope the other guys feed off them and it becomes a one-sided, joyous celebration of all abilities Duke. A loss would be devastating, a close win would be, well, still a win, but you know what I mean. Did CDG say "signature?" We need signature, for a lot of reasons and not related to just the past. Entering tourney play skidding is a recent habit that must be broken, starting tonight.

GTHC



Posted by: Andrew Hicks Date: 3/6/2010 2:52:03 PM  
Not that anyone cares, but I was a bit wrong about McAdoo; he was a junior, one of the first to jump to the NBA before graduation. He had been a juco transfer and just played that one season for the Holes. Great player in the pros, a hall-of-famer.


Posted by: Andrew Hicks Date: 3/6/2010 2:11:47 PM  
13,001. I'm guessing high, thinking the Cav fans might come out to support their team. And they hate Maryland (who doesn't?). And I will go out even further on a limb and pick Virginia to win this one. Maryland is better, but they have already won their PS BAD(tm), and I think they will go through the motions on this one. [Whoops. I spent too long writing this, and the game is under way, so my guess doesn't count. And the Twerps lead by ten. Oh well.]

duhomme, I loved the reprise of "Fringe." Last time, when you got to Roy's office, with the votive candles for Coach Smith and the spot-on description of Ol'Roy in his state of psychological melt-down, it was a spew-coffee-all-over-the-keyboard moment. I was prepared this time, and backed away to a safe distance. It was just as funny.

One stat from the other night that no one has mentioned yet: Scheyer's negative A/TO number (2 to 4), his first negative in this department all season. He has had four turnovers in three other games, but always more assists, including the ridiculous eleven assists/four turnovers against Penn. He is still my pick for ACC player of the year, over that other guy.

When Dawkins hit that three with about seven minutes to go making it 59-58, I was jumping up and down and hollering "YEAH!!!!!" Not so much about taking the lead, though that was good; it was about the young man having the confidence to take that shot and make it (and one more for good measure near the end, though the game was getting out of reach by then). He is likely to get some looks in clutch situations in the upcoming games.

It is easy to forget that he ought to still be in high school. I wondered how old he is, and found it at GoDuke's roster listing (along with a very handsome picture of him, all dressed up in a suit.) Born Sept. 19, 1991, so he is eighteen and a half.

A Duke/UNC memory. . . . Back in the days of Sailing with the Pilot on Saturday afternoons, I was a high school student trying to decide where to go to college. Duke was on my list, but not at the top of it. January 22, 1972: the third-ranked Tar Heels come to Cameron against a Duke squad sporting a 7-6 record (they finished 14-12, 6-6 in conference). Duke holds UNC-CH senior star and soon to be second pick in the pro draft Robert McAdoo ("the best shooter of all time, period." -- Bill Russell) to 1-12 shooting and 3 points, wins in a thriller 76-74, the fans storm the court, and I knew where I wanted to be.

GTHC.



Posted by: Steve!! Date: 3/6/2010 2:00:03 PM  
Sorry TRT. I actually do know your initials.

A few other things:

- Jordan Davidson hasn't beaten UNC-CH in Cameron either. His start with the program was 05-06 (which coincided with the start of the four game skid).

- Here you go duhomme: Two teams from engineering schools are in a basketball arena and you'd think the game would actually be televised on NSPE 360.

Well, you didn't specify that you wanted a *good* punch line...

- Since Senior Night has arrived and commenter Bluedevilyn has been absent this season, I'll throw in a ::hearts:: Scheyer. Thanks for four great years! Same for Zoubek and Thomas. Now go out at home in style!



Posted by: Matt Date: 3/6/2010 1:52:26 PM  
Spoooock! It's as though they . . . [weird hand gesture] . . . almostwantedtomakesurethat . . . he HAD! To RECAP!! SOME . . . THING!! [/Shat]

I neeeeeeeeever thought that would happen. Get your picks for my recapping ready, boys. And anyone else who wants to get in, guess Virginia's announced attendance today.



Posted by: Steve!! Date: 3/6/2010 1:34:38 PM  
Since TNT can't have it, I'll claim 11,211.


Posted by: tom Date: 3/6/2010 1:32:18 PM  
My folks are here this weekend and my father is a huge UNC fan. I would love for him at the end of the night to look at me and say, "I have no son."


Posted by: Brett Date: 3/6/2010 1:28:29 PM  
just in under the wire: 11,501

go devils

(and cavs)

(and dukies.com - thx guys)



Posted by: Stevie Date: 3/6/2010 1:20:54 PM  
Matt and duhomme, I'm hearing rumors that dukies may be discontinued! This cannot be true! My life would be incomplete without this website! You simply cannot find better analysis of the Duke games anywhere else. I understand that maybe writing about all the ACC teams may be too much, but please don't stop writing about Duke!


Posted by: dan Date: 3/6/2010 10:50:23 AM  
11,189

Great material guys.

Go Duke.



Posted by: T. Randall Taylor Date: 3/6/2010 10:02:18 AM  
You cannot be serious! That is totally unfair!


Posted by: Matt Date: 3/6/2010 9:57:45 AM  
You only get one, TRT. It's therefore the second one. Anyone else care to join us?

I love Andy Rautins, G. Great post. Oh, and I'm very glad you enjoyed the song.



Posted by: Serious G Date: 3/6/2010 9:45:08 AM  
Oh man, that Steely Dan parody has got me howling, just great. Awesome work!

Seniors, bring this one home, this is your time.

Non-related Duke stuff:

Cusefan - I was also at last Saturday's game vs. Nova, what an electric atmosphere. AO just took over in that one. My friends and I drive to Cuse from Toronto once a year to see games (previous years watched ND, Pitt and Connvicts); a special team this year, really well-rounded. We're glad to see the Canadian kids (Rautins & Joseph) playing so well.

I think Rautins is one of those kids anyone would want on their team. He could shoot 1/14 and still help the team win.



Posted by: T. Randall Taylor Date: 3/6/2010 9:35:23 AM  
11,209


Posted by: T. Randall Taylor Date: 3/6/2010 9:35:05 AM  
11,211


Posted by: KD Date: 3/6/2010 9:20:54 AM  
The managing partner of my law firm is a Tool extraordinaire and yesterday in response to an e-mail from the organizer of a NCAA Tourney Player Pool we contest every year, he requested permission to draft some of his favorite Holes and get their points from games in the NIT. Have to say it was extremely gratifying to see that in print. He also may be overestimating their chances to get a bid. . .

Amen on making this a statement win. Our seniors deserve a big night. Never say never, but I believe our only real chance at a championship this year is the ACC tourney, and a number 1 seed sure would help. Go get 'em, boys.




COPYRIGHT 1997-2012 RIGEL ENTERPRISES LLC. All rights reserved.