TWO DUKIES PICK THE ACC
Volume XI, Episode 10
December 9, 2007
BOSTON COLLEGE (6-0, 0-0) @ MARYLAND, COLLEGE PARK (6-3, 0-0)
Official Syracuse Guy was complaining to me the other day - - quite rightly - - that Garyland will find some way to beat Duke or UNC-CH or somebody relevant down the ACC stretch, and thus make their way into the NCAA Tournament (supposedly kicking out a wholly deserving Big Least team, hence his gripeage). And that effort kicks off tonight, as Sweaty tries to make everyone forget that his slimy squad lost to UCLA (in a game that was never in doubt), Missouri, and VCU, by pounding the forces of the Nutcracker into submission in front of roughly 17,000 bored, yawning yoyos. I apologize, I apologize; that's a wild exaggeration - - only 10,000 or so of them will be yoyos.
How are the Sugar Plum Fairies faring? Well, they're 6-1, and if you're the Nutcracker, you cut off the interview after answering that question, and then have your sinister mouse army carry away the nosy reporter before s/he can follow up. And if you are aware that the Nutcracker doesn't command the mouse army, but is OPPOSED to it, then you are waaaaay ahead of the pace here, my friend. Kudos! The objection is sustained. Anyway, why the brushoff from Al the Pal? Well, the six wins have come against New Hampshire, Florida Atlantic, Mercer, Rhode Island, Michigan (heh) and Saint Louis, so in truth, the Beagles haven't played anyone. Well, other than Providence, to whom they lost.
What a battle we have on hand! You know, if I had suffered a technical glitch earlier, and lost the material I was posting, or something, then I'd be writing this at the half and would guess that each team would have less than 30 points to its credit - - but sooth. Considering the massive array of firepower on hand here (batteries not inclued), who could predict that?
If I were posting this at halftime, I might also have spotted a few Scaryland fans attending the game dressed as empty seats. Hmmmm. Could that have anything to do with the hilarious e-mail I received recently? Some of you will recall that I have walked among the enemy in every ACC arena except the Convo Center in Coral Gables (iiiiiiiiiiinconvenient!!) and Led Zeppelin's Bass Player Arena, where I haven't been yet to "make up" my "loss" of UFO Hall. And yes, in my many journeys, I have been not only to Maryland's Unnecessary New Arena, but also to its far more intimidating former home of Cole Fieldhouse - - and I don't think I ever recall anything so desperate as what my two-time purchase of ducats through the Industrial Park ticket office has earned me . . . e-mails from "Gary Williams."
Oh, what a singular honor!! And you know it was authentic, because as soon as I clicked on it, like a kid on Christmas morning, my keyboard was instantly saturated with an unctuous substance of unspecified composition, but unquestionable viscosity. Well, what did the message say, you ask breathlessly . . . even, perhaps, perspiring a bit? Why, a solicitation to watch "Head Coach Gary Williams and the Terps" [hey, why is he referring to himself in the third person? What gives??] in "non-conference action against quality opponents - American, Delaware, Savannah State and Holy Cross." Holy Cross? Holy s__t! I have only one question; in addition to those pastries, who are the "quality opponents"? The ad didn't clear up that mystery.
Somewhere in the garden of good and evil, fans of Savannah State basketball are smiling from ear to ear, thankful that a few hundred miles to the north, there is a crappy state school program heading for a .500 season and a clean miss on making the NCAAs that thinks of their team as a quality opponent. Merry Christmas, Sweaty. And you, too, The Nutcracker.
Boston College 68, Maryland, College Park 64.
Boston College 64, Maryland, College Park 61.